Speakers, Step Beyond Your Fear
Date: June 22, 2016
This thing called fear can sneak in through the back door just when we least expect it.
Fear carries a variety of labels and can present itself many in different ways – often heavily disguised. It really can hinder us from doing the things we love to do and from turning our dreams into reality.
If we let it, fear can become very comfortable in the driver’s seat of our life while the joy of life is relegated to the back seat and we only get a glimpse of real life through the side windows.
One of the greatest qualities a speaker can conquer, is their fear of being disliked, or fear of something going wrong.
So let me ask you “What are the public speaking fears you might face when confronted with your audience? How do you relegate those to the back seat so you can enjoy an all-round view?”
Controlling Fear When Talking To An Audience
I am here to share with you the things that I used to uproot those weeds of fear, so I could out-grow the debilitating effects of anxiety and grow into my potential.
I stopped trying to get rid of fear or anxiety a long time ago. Instead I accepted that it would always be here to some degree or another. However I realised that I was in charge of the degree.
Only when I took my attention away from what I didn’t want and refocused on what I did want, did the anxiety take its rightful place in the back seat.
A fear is just a fear until we give it meaning, purpose and power. We can let it run our lives and sometimes even ruin our lives. Or we can accept it and build a healthy relationship with it which allows us to run our own life with more ease and glory.
I look at it this way: there are two energies vying for my attention – love and fear. Which ever one I give my attention to will win. Which ever one I continually turn on will in turn become that which turns me on. Which ever one I give power to will become that which empowers me.
I knew that if I continued to make decisions from a place of fear, the outcome would continue to be one of fear.
The first thing I had to do was to make the decision to put love back into the driver’s seat of my life where it belonged. I had to take a risk that love does work when I worked with it, not against it.
I realised that living from that place of self love, which is the same as faith, meant that every other decision I made had a better chance of being the right one for me. Then, the outcome would be a reflection of that faithful decision.
Reinforce Your Confidence When Speaking
Some people say affirmations don’t work. I look at it this way: every day we are affirming, confirming or declaring something in our mind, either consciously or unconsciously.
These thoughts or self talk will be the result of the beliefs we carry about our self and the world we see. The quality of those beliefs will determine the quality of our self talk and in turn the quality of life we lead.
So the first thing is to be aware of is what we are telling ourselves – in particular any statements that follow I AM. Why? Because I AM are the most powerful words in the dictionary and whatever we attach to them we empower!
As you think about that ask your self “What am I saying to my self?”
Am I responding to the low-grade self talk which keeps my dreams and goals smothered, or am I hearing and responding to my higher-self talk which acts like a fertiliser feeding my dreams and goals so that I get to grow and flower and bloom into my potential?
Based on what I have learned, used (and still do) and shared over the past 20 years, I have come to the conclusion that most of us need to know two things at the depths of our being:
- I am loved
- I am safe and well protected
With these well and truly ingrained, we can relax and feel safe and free to take the risks we most want to take, in complete faith that our natural fight or flight warning mechanism will kick in naturally when needed. Without this absolute knowing, we will be stressed and on guard most of the time, reacting to a false sense of fear, turning us away from our most treasured dreams.
These affirmations or declarations may seem like just words when you begin, but I assure you that in time they will drop down into your heart and become one with your real inner voice.
Over time, the feeling and the knowing that I am loved, safe and well-protected overcame me and became me. Now, no matter what, I am able to take that inspired action, because the feelings of being safe and well protected are far greater than the feelings of fear.
The other affirmations I love to use are:
- I am blessed and I am a blessing
- I am inspired and I am an inspiration
Again, the more blessed and inspired I feel, the more real those feelings of being a real blessing and being a real inspiration overcomes me and becomes my natural expression.
Every Speaker Can Control Their Fear
With these key declarations in place, you can begin to be more specific. As I started out in my new career, I had to begin to declare my intentions as if they were already true. I am sure you have heard the expression act as if.
I declared out loud and quietly to myself I AM a great public speaker and I AM a global author and writer. These declarations were like my calling-card inviting the greatness already within me to rise.
As I listened to my inner response I could hear whether my self talk (my beliefs) was working for me or against me and what needed to be addressed.
Instead of pushing those thoughts and feelings away, I explored them and learned to work out whether they were coming from the root of fear or the root of faith (love). Neither was bad because both had a story to tell me.
Either fear was saying “I can’t” which meant I had some obstacles to overcome and I could respond appropriately. Or love was saying Yes I can or Yes I AM which meant I had a clear road ahead.
Above are examples of some of the powerful self communication I use.
I call it ‘soul talk’ because it’s as if our soul already knows what is real, but our beliefs keep it separated from our conscious mind. With commitment, discipline and faith, we go through the process of expanding our conditioned mind until we are able to receive and believe that which our soul already knows as the truth.
You can use my words or you can play with a string of healthy I AM statements that feel right for you and then let go and let it overcome you and become your truth, as it did for me.
Remember to remain present when you declare your decisions and intentions, as you will find it easier to absorb the information. You can do them first thing in the morning and last thing at night as you fall off to sleep and any time you remember during the day to replace the out-dated audio tape going around in your head.
And when it’s all said and done you will find yourself faithfully stepping out experiencing the blessing of feeling safe and well protected as you express your self through your inspirational messages to one or one thousand people.